Mind over Matter
by Gwenhwyfar
Summary: This time, he was too late. - Pairing: Abby/Gibbs - M for mature - Trigger warnings: drug use, rape, emetophobia
1. Too late

MIND OVER MATTER by Gwenhwyfar

**Rating**: M for Mature

**Pairing**: Abby/Gibbs

**Summary**: This time, he was too late.

**Spoilers**: general warning for everything up to season 10

**Trigger warnings**: drug use, rape, emetophobia

**Disclaimer**: I don't own NCIS. I only own this idea.

**Author's note**: I appreciate any constructive criticism. I didn't use a beta, but I have made use of Hemmingway Beta. I'm about as well versed in science as Gibbs is with electronics, so basically this is bunch of mumbo jumbo.

* * *

Gibbs sat at his desk, working to catch the murderer navy ensign Davies, who had been found dead in his dump of a house in the less savory parts of DC. He had actually expected a call from Abby right about now. DiNozzo had delivered their evidence to her two hours ago and in most cases she had some preliminary results within the hour. As he felt like stretching his legs, he decided to go down and pay her a visit.

He exited the elevator to the basement floor of NCIS HQ and noticed that most rooms were already dark though it wasn't late. The familiar bass of Abby's music thrummed softly through the hallway, a testament to the excellent soundproofing they had installed throughout the building after Dearing's bomb. Only when he opened the door to her lab he realised something was very, very wrong.

Abby was laying on the ground, thrashing and screaming, her eyes squeezed shut. Her skirt had ridden up, one thigh high sock had come undone and she had a bleeding gash on her head. The sight of her flailing in a sickeningly large bloodstain on the floor send Gibbs in a frenzy. Though he _intellectually_ knew head wounds often bled far worse than they were, it still send shivers down his spine.

"No, no, no, please God, don't, no, no, no!" Abby screamed. "I'll do anything, don't hurt me, no, no, no!". Gibbs knelt beside her, trying to determine what the hell was wrong with her. Meanwhile, he dialed Tony. "Hey bo.." Tony's voice came on the other sound of the line, but was interrupted by Abby's scream. "STOP! NO!"

"_What the fuck_?"

"Call 911 and find Ducky! Something's wrong with Abby." Gibbs barked to his second in command. The line disconnected without the other man saying one more word.

Gibbs gingerly touched Abby's arm and called out to her. He was pretty sure she wouldn't want to be seen in the state of undress she was currently in. He smoothed her skirt down with detached emotions. That was a terrible mistake. Her eyes flew open in terror and registered his face, but her eyes were not truly hers. "Gibbs?" she breathed. "I'm here Abby, it's going to be okay." he tried to say, but then his mind understood why she looked different. There was a fear in her eyes like he had never seen before. Not with Dearing, with Ari or the murderous car. This fear was not _for_ him, but _because of _him. She let out a bloodcurdling scream. That exact moment DiNozzo, McGee and Ziva ran inside with their guns drawn. As they gave the all-clear, Ducky rushed in. "Stop, no, please, God, not you too. Please don't, please don't, pleaseee" Abby begged at no-one they could see. Her fingers pulled at the hem of her skirt, the knuckles white from her iron grip. She was pulling the skirt down, protecting herself?

"Jethro, what happened here?" Ducky asked as he tried to take Abby's pulse. The team stood around, momentarily dumbfounded at the display before them.

"I have no idea. I found her like this."

Abby was still thrashing, trying to get away from the ME's attempts to help her. A fresh gush of blood came from the wound at her head. This seemed to wake the younger agents from their stupor and they scrambled to hold Abby down. That, however, only served to agitate her even more. One hand shot out and unseeingly grabbed Tim, busy pushing her shoulder down, by the nape and pulled out a good chunk of his hair. He howled in pain but kept pushing, grabbing her hand and keeping that down as well. DiNozzo at her other shoulder did the same.

In the mean time, Ducky had grabbed his bag. He produced a syringe, plunging the needle in Abby's arm. It was chilling to watch her still, her voice slurring on the words she was still uttering. As unconsciousness took her, the entire team was shocked to hear her last words.

"Gibbs, I trusted you. Stop, ST..."


	2. Nightmare

As an unconscious Abby was wheeled out by the paramedics, Gibbs' first instinct was to follow them to the hospital. He wanted to be there when she woke, to see for himself that she was okay.

_She might not want to see you_, a voice in his head told him. Meanwhile, another contingent of agents had arrived to survey what was now designated a crime scene. His own agents and Ducky stood off to the side in a corner of the hallway, heatedly speaking to one another. Both McGee's and DiNozzo's pants were stained with blood from the knee down. Tim pressed a handkerchief to his head where Abby had ripped his hair out.

"Boss..." DiNozzo tried but Gibbs cut him off. "Tim, go with Ducky. Have that taken care of. Ziva, go to the hospital, find out what you can. You" he motioned to Tony "with me."

Ziva took of in a run while Tim tried to protest. Gibbs stared him down until Ducky took his arm. "With me please, Timothy. We might need to stitch that and you'll definitely need a tetanus shot."

Tony looked Gibbs in the eye. It was a mercy there was no accusation in his eyes, or the team leader might've taken a swing at him. "Boss, whatever the fuck that was, we have to find out stat." Gibbs couldn't agree more. The adrenalin was wearing off and he was suddenly very tired. Something had broken inside him when he heard the otherwise so lively girl utter those last words. His mind was analyzing every single instance of the sexual banter and barely-veiled invitations they had issued to each other. Had he imagined things? Had she felt unsafe, pressured by him?

An agent from the other team approached them. "Sir, it's been decided to call the DEA. We think there might be some sort of drug involved." Gibbs and Tony nodded. There was nothing they could do once such a decision had been made, no matter how many options were going though Gibbs' head. He wanted to tear the lab apart, but for Abby's sake he said nothing, swallowed his protest. He couldn't allow his own warbled mind to take up time other agents would need to get to the bottom of this mess. It was a mercy the lab was sealed when he walked past, though the image of Abby's blood smeared over the floor would be etched in his mind forever .

Vance approached Gibbs and Tony as they climbed the stairs. "Gibbs, DiNozzo. I understand ms. Sciuto had an accident?"

A red haze filled Gibbs's vision and he was about the snap before receiving an elbow in the ribs from Tony. Directly behind the Director walked several DEA-agents, large suitcases in both hands. He really needed to get his emotions under control.

"Yes, Leon. I found her 15 minutes ago, lying on the floor. It appeared she was suffering some sort of hallucination. She was..." his throat clenched up. "It seemed that Abby was under the impression that she was being raped, Director." Tony cut in. It didn't escape anyone's notice that the DEA-agents exchanged a short glance. "Care to share, gentlemen?" Vance intoned, his face betraying no emotion though Gibbs could see that it had hit him hard as well.

"Well Mr. Vance, I'm afraid it's bad news. There's a new drug on the market, extremely dangerous. It looks like regular brown sugar, until you mix it with alcohol. Then it's a powerful hallucinogen. In small doses, you'll hallucinate stuff like butterflies and vibrant color patterns. But use just a little too much, and it gives people nightmarish visions. If your forensics specialist tried to dissolve it... I'm not sure what the effects from inhalation would be."

Gibbs tried hard to keep his attention focussed on what the guy said, but he couldn't help but wonder again why Abby would ever think he would hurt her. Nightmarish visions? All these long years, he had done nothing but to try and protect her. Sure, they would banter and trade gossip, talk in double entendres and spend time together, but he never took things any further. From the moment she had began working for NCIS, he'd taken a fancy to her. And in Gibbs' world, taking a shine to someone meant you'd protect them from harm. Yet he couldn't protect her from her own fears, even less so if _he _was someone she feared.

Vance pulled him out of his stupor when the FDA-agents walked past to don their protective suits. "Gibbs, you take your team to the hospital after you brief the other response team. Have them take over your current case." he said, before stepping past them to consult with the head of NCIS on-site security.

Deciding there was nothing else to do but focus on the task, any task, at hand, Gibbs and Tony did just that. They spoke with agent Castavettes and his team, filling them in on the sparse details known about the murder of ensign Davies. By then McGee, Ducky and Palmer had joined them in the squad room, McGee with a white bandage covering the back of his partly shaved head. "Nice hairdo, probie." Tony quipped. "Who knew Abby had such strength in her, huh?" They all laughed weakly, but their moods didn't improve. The ride to the hospital was short, everyone lost in their own thoughts. Gibbs was glad Tony was behind the wheel, for once less than eager to break the speed limit. He wasn't sure his face would be welcome at her bedside.


	3. DEA

Abby awoke disoriented in a hospital bed. She wasn't sure how she had gotten there from the dark building she had been kept at, where she had been…

It took a couple of seconds to discern where the rapid beeping sound came from, to determine it wasn't a bomb. By then two nurses had rushed into her room, one pushing a crash cart before her that was abandoned the moment they noticed she was having a panic attack, not a heart attack. As they tried to check Abby's pupils, she got a good look at their faces. Their eyes were black, mouths inhumanly large with yellow, bloody fangs. She screamed and screamed. When Ziva came rushing into the room, one of the nurses had Abby pinned against the bed while the other gave her a second shot of tranquilizer. Seeing Ziva, Abby stilled somewhat, her eyes like a deer's in headlights. "You're dead! Get away or they'll kill you again! GET OUT! Flee..."

As Ziva left the room, she walked into the rest of her team. Tony, Tim and Palmer looked deeply uncomfortable, their eyes darting from the door Ziva had just come trough to Gibbs, who had slid down against the wall. His eyes were closed, knuckles white. Ducky took off in search of Abby's attending physician. Ziva wanted to relate the bizarre events of the past minute, but as she opened her mouth Gibbs' phone rang. Without as much as looking at any of them, he tossed it in their general direction. Ziva caught it, pressing the 'accept' button. "Yes?"

"Um, I was looking for special agent Gibbs?" the voice on the other end of the line intoned.

"He's not available right now. This is special agent Ziva David."

"Okay. This is DEA-agent Lopez. We've determined that our original speculation was correct. Ms. Sciuto is suffering from the effects of LS-3785, a derivative of LSD. It got in her bloodstream when she mixed the powder with ethyl alcohol and breathed in the fumes. I'm afraid there's nothing we can do about it at this moment. The effects will last approximately 5 to 10 hours and have to wear off. I suggest the doctors keep her sedated for another 12 hours, to make sure her systems have purged the drug."

"Will she suffer any lasting damage?" Ziva asked. "No, ma'am. There's no physical damage with one-time exposure, as far as we can tell."

Ziva ended the phone call and related the content to her team mates. When Gibbs spoke, they were all startled at the dead tone of his voice. "No _physical_ damage, huh? In other words, her mind might be permanently altered."

"Boss," Tim spoke up "you can't think like that. We don't know anything for sure yet."

"He's right, Jethro." Ducky interjected. "This is Abby's physician, Dr. Peterson. Doctor?"

Gibbs got up and shook the woman's hand. She had a warm, open face, a bit like her patient. He mentally kicked himself. _Man up, asshole. _He wasn't the one lying in a hospital bed, tranquilized out of this world.

"If ms. Sciuto is indeed under the influence of an LSD-derivative, her body will be fine. We've bandaged her head, it was a superficial, if large, cut. I'm not comfortable to venture a guess about her mental state, though. I'm afraid we'll have to wait for her to wake up before I can speak with her. You said they gave you a recommendation?"

"Our DEA-contact said to keep her sedated for 12 hours." Ziva said. "Then I will follow that advise. If you'll excuse me, I have to attend to other patients." Smiling to them again, she hurried off.

As there was nothing else to do, they resigned themselves to waiting in the hospital lounge. Ducky insisted Tim had to get a tetanus shot, bodily dragging him to another part of the hospital. Tony excused himself and went to the office to get changed and inquire after the investigation.

"Gibbs?" His head snapped up. Ziva was crouching before him. "We've got to talk about this."

"I never touched her." Her slap across his face left him speechless.

"That's not what I was going to ask, you idiot" she hissed at him. "There's no time for your pity-feast right now. I know you love Abby. What I'm asking is, has she ever been assaulted?" She spoke matter-of-factly, her inquiry giving away no emotion. Once again. Gibbs wondered about the things Ziva had seen in the employ of Mossad.

"Not that I know of."

"Good. Then we can fix this."

Somehow he believed her, or had to. He let his head drop in his hands and cried, never even noticing Palmer taking his leave.


	4. Waking up

When Abby woke again, the sun shone in through the window. She was alone in the hospital room, wearing nothing but a green gown. This time the panic attack left her some semblance of control, enough to press the call button. Another nurse hurried in, her face perfectly normal as far as Abby could see.

"Good afternoon ms. Sciuto. The doctor will be with you in a moment. How are you feeling?"

She honestly didn't know. Last night had been the worst night of her life and she feared she was losing her mind. First those terrible events, than to see the demons and Ziva, even though she had seen Ziva being killed...

She felt bruised all over, but strangely enough, not _down there_.

"Please tell me you've used a rape kit."

The nurse smiled sadly, avoiding her eyes. "I'll call the doctor, dear."

As the nurse pushed the door open, Abby could see her team sitting on the other side, Gibbs among them. She locked eyes with him. He looked as terrible as she felt. Then a memory flashed through her mind and as the door softly closed, the entire team saw how she lurched over the side of her bed and emptied her stomach on the floor.


	5. Harsh awakenings

**A/N: Sorry for the delay in putting new chapters up, I've had some personal matters to attend to. I'm hoping to write more tonight.**

* * *

Gibbs got up and stalked of. He had no idea how to fix it, how they could ever be together in the same room again, let alone work together. He needed coffee. Coffee, a shit-load of bourbon and a time machine. It was a shame ensign Davies was already dead, he wished to kill him himself. Over and over and _over_... By the time Gibbs became aware of his surroundings again, he was standing well outside the hospital. Watching as ambulances drove away and returned, carrying wounded and near-dead. Great. Another happy place.

* * *

Meanwhile, the nurses had cleaned up Abby and her room. She felt disgusting, inside and out, and thoroughly confused. What the hell had happened? She remembered testing some drugs that came with the evidence Tony had brought down to her. They had smelled hinky after mixing them with ethyl alcohol so she had gone to switch the ventilation unit on. But before she could reach the button, someone had come in and taken her? She was missing a good chunk of memory before waking up on the floor of some nondescript warehouse.

A kind-looking woman in a lab coat stepped into the room after knocking on the door. She extended her hand and introduced herself as Dr. Peterson. "Good afternoon Ms. Sciuto. How are you feeling right now?"

"Confused, mostly. Scared. And my head hurts. How did I get here, doctor?"

Dr. Peterson smiled. "I understand. You were brought here by ambulance from the Navy Headquarters approximately 13 hours ago. It seems, though I'm afraid the details are not entirely known to me, that you have been suffering from an accidental drug overdose. You had a seizure and fell to the ground, which explains your head injury. The seizure also caused some bruising on the rest of your body. As far as we can tell, the drug has left your bloodstream. I'm afraid that's all I know about it."

Abby nodded. She felt numb. A thousand splintered memories threatened to surface. She had to keep on going, keep them suppressed. "Has anyone administered a rape kit yet? If not, I would like to have one now." She could hear herself speaking, but it was like she was watching a movie, standing outside of herself and seeing a train about to derail. _Keep focussed. Wait for the answer._

"No, we haven't had a rape panel done, Ms. Sciuto." the physician shook her head. "You have not been raped."

* * *

Gibbs stood outside the ER, watching the ambulances come and go. He was now wishing it was still yesterday morning. Yesterday, when he had greeted Abby as she came in, all set for a normal day of cleaning her equipment and working on the back-log of tests to run for cold-cases. Yesterday, when she had skipped past him to get some lunch and brought him a coffee on the way back. Instead, he now had memories of having to sign off on an impressive amount of forms to administer sedatives to Abby, to give permission to take her into surgery should that be necessary, to have her head examined. He had been her medical proxy for a couple of years, and the first time he had had to act as such had been while he felt like a fraud. He felt like she wouldn't want him to if she could have a say in the matter. As such, if Ducky told him to ok a treatment, he did.

During the night, Gibbs had stayed in the hospital waiting room. Ducky was old and while he had wanted to stay, his body no longer allowed for sleeping in uncomfortable plastic chairs. Palmer had driven him home, going to see his wife after. Tony had returned from the office during the early hours of the night with updates on the case and scarce more info from the DEA-agents to find Ziva and Tim sleeping and Gibbs staring into nothing, still awake. Eventually, everyone had had some shut-eye and by the time Abby had woken, so had Tony and he. They had moved to the waiting area on her floor, only to see her hurl at the mere sight of him. _Fuck_. He had to get back.


End file.
